Men are from Mars and Women are from…EARTH...duh!

I will never understand it; the colossal disparity in the behaviors of Gods favorite creatures. How can two people of the same species have such different mind sets? If you ask me the problem developed when we were given minds to think! Mind you, I am not complaining. I thrive in the ever lasting struggle that goes on when humans separate into the Man-&-Woman category and there is a depraved part of me that actually finds this amusing. How? Let me elucidate.

* Does size really matter?
‘Honey, does this dress really make me look fat?’
‘No sweetie, not at all! Why, you could be Americas next supermodel!’
While sweetie is temporarily convinced Mr. Big Fat Liar sits down nursing his own insecurities. If he is a ‘man’s man’ he’s probably worried his beer belly isn’t impressive enough. If he is the health conscious/vain type he’s wondering if he should talk to his personal trainer about taking more steroids…he still hasn’t perfected the HULK look yet!
And if he is well just a man…then he’s only worried about the size of *ahem* his family jewels! So while they are always telling us how complicated we are and how we think so much for every little thing, they seem to be doing pretty much the same!

* Shopping sprees and Football orgasms
I think the perfect relationship will be one where the women has enough money to go shopping every other day and the man can sit at home with endless supply of beer watching a football game on his Big Screen TV with his buddies, screaming obscenities and being rowdy! Both of them will be in bliss and no one will ever get hurt!
Its weird how after the first few months in a relationship, the 2 people seem the happiest when they are away from each other! When once the woman would have sat through the ordeal of watching a game (Football, baseball, soccer…it’s all the same after all huh?)- faking a football orgasm and sipping on beer (and mentally calculating the calories she was consuming!) just to make sweetie pie happy, now she would happily trade it to get her nails done. And sweetie pie who once oohed and aahed at the choice of his honeybuns choice in fashion and took her to every store on 5th Avenue (carrying loads of shopping bags all along!) would without a second thought shove her out of the house with her girlfriends to cheer the Red Sox!

* ‘You don’t love me anymore!’
For a woman, the man of her dreams who loves her as much as she does him would worship the very ground she walks on, charm her friends, take her for romantic candlelit dinners, plan weekend getaways, spend every waking moment of his life with her (without actually having to be nagged into it!). Well the list is endless. For a man, the woman he loves won’t have to do much to keep him satisfied… as long as she cooks, cleans, gets him his beer and keeps her mouth shut, things will be perfect!

Need I say more? Men will always be a mystery to women and women will always puzzle men! But hey, look at the bright side…at least life will be a little unpredictable and less boring!