Solemn Balderdash...

The irony of my life!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

A CRUSH!!

I have realised I am pretty good at writing silly poems (that rhyme!) Heres one that i had written a while back....

A CRUSH:
Let me tell you about this girl I know,
She’s shy, maybe even a little mellow,
You’ve known her for a year or two
But what I’ll tell you now may come as a surprise to you.
You see she’s got a crush on you,
She gets a rush when you are within a mile or two.
When she hears your voice,
Its almost like her tummy
Inhabits a thousand butterflies!
You are just her friend, she’ll say,
But then she’ll think of you day after day.
She’ll do anything to impress you now,
And pray to god that you will notice her somehow.
She’ll bore her friends with stories of you
Of all your accomplishments, old and new!
She blushes and she gushes when you smile at her,
Even then, you don’t notice her or her foolish demeanor.
She doesn’t love you yet, I think
But believe me when I say she’s right on the brink!
To you I only have one plea to make,
Especially knowing that you are the incorrigible rake,
Whatever you do, stay friends or part,
Just don’t break this young girl’s heart!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Men are from Mars and Women are from…EARTH...duh!

I will never understand it; the colossal disparity in the behaviors of Gods favorite creatures. How can two people of the same species have such different mind sets? If you ask me the problem developed when we were given minds to think! Mind you, I am not complaining. I thrive in the ever lasting struggle that goes on when humans separate into the Man-&-Woman category and there is a depraved part of me that actually finds this amusing. How? Let me elucidate.

* Does size really matter?
‘Honey, does this dress really make me look fat?’
‘No sweetie, not at all! Why, you could be Americas next supermodel!’
While sweetie is temporarily convinced Mr. Big Fat Liar sits down nursing his own insecurities. If he is a ‘man’s man’ he’s probably worried his beer belly isn’t impressive enough. If he is the health conscious/vain type he’s wondering if he should talk to his personal trainer about taking more steroids…he still hasn’t perfected the HULK look yet!
And if he is well just a man…then he’s only worried about the size of *ahem* his family jewels! So while they are always telling us how complicated we are and how we think so much for every little thing, they seem to be doing pretty much the same!

* Shopping sprees and Football orgasms
I think the perfect relationship will be one where the women has enough money to go shopping every other day and the man can sit at home with endless supply of beer watching a football game on his Big Screen TV with his buddies, screaming obscenities and being rowdy! Both of them will be in bliss and no one will ever get hurt!
Its weird how after the first few months in a relationship, the 2 people seem the happiest when they are away from each other! When once the woman would have sat through the ordeal of watching a game (Football, baseball, soccer…it’s all the same after all huh?)- faking a football orgasm and sipping on beer (and mentally calculating the calories she was consuming!) just to make sweetie pie happy, now she would happily trade it to get her nails done. And sweetie pie who once oohed and aahed at the choice of his honeybuns choice in fashion and took her to every store on 5th Avenue (carrying loads of shopping bags all along!) would without a second thought shove her out of the house with her girlfriends to cheer the Red Sox!

* ‘You don’t love me anymore!’
For a woman, the man of her dreams who loves her as much as she does him would worship the very ground she walks on, charm her friends, take her for romantic candlelit dinners, plan weekend getaways, spend every waking moment of his life with her (without actually having to be nagged into it!). Well the list is endless. For a man, the woman he loves won’t have to do much to keep him satisfied… as long as she cooks, cleans, gets him his beer and keeps her mouth shut, things will be perfect!

Need I say more? Men will always be a mystery to women and women will always puzzle men! But hey, look at the bright side…at least life will be a little unpredictable and less boring!

Friday, October 14, 2005

me

You Are Chinese Food


Exotic yet ordinary.
People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.
I think i like :)


You Are a Strawberry Daiquiri

You're a fun, playful drinker who loves to party.
You may get totally wasted, but you're always a happy drunk!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Armageddon



Is the world coming to an end? As I read the reports on the aftermath of the latest disaster in Asia, I could not help wondering that. The world has seen (hopefully) the worst of the nature’s wrath. The numbers of natural calamities in this year have probably surpassed those in the past decade. Tsunamis, earthquakes, unrelenting rains, floods, tornadoes, hurricanes.. I think we have seen it all. As I read the article about the arctic ice melting faster this year, I wondered. Why? Were there not enough terrorists and politicians to kill mankind on this planet? Did we really need these crude exhibitions from the forces of nature?
It is terrifying; as I am sure it is for most people away from their family . I pray to God every night and every time I read a dreadful article stating the number of people dead from some catastrophe. I hope my family will be spared the worst of it all. I think its worse knowing they feel the same alarm too. As my Mom said: America is so big. Did it have to rain and start flooding in NH of all places??
Maybe Nostradamus was right after all…just a few years off…

Mishmash

Have you ever been to Davis’s Mega Maze? Let me describe it to you. It has miles and miles of corn that all looks the same ..and obviously as the name suggests, it is a maze. A place you just can’t get out of! No matter what you do!You go in…and when you see the restrooms built inside the maze, you know you are expected to be in there for a LONG time!
Well if you are lucky, sometimes, it will be nice and sunny (a rarity for a native New Englander) and if you are luckier, you wont be alone but with someone you like being with and you wouldn’t mind being in there for hours! But a lot of times, the scenario will be something like this I think.. it will be raining( but of course!) And since you were supposed to be on a date (and of course nothing spoils the mood quicker than an oversize poncho!) you naturally left your rain wear at home. SO not only are you now cold but you are also WET! You feel absolutely incompetent at not being able to get out of the stupid maze and all you want is to GO HOME!
So, what’s my point? (do I ever have one?) I am thinking, my life is a mega maze. I keep getting lost in it over and over. Sometimes, I have fun doing it and some days I just want to throw in the blanket and call it quits!! But hey just like I will keep going back to that maze to get out of there on my own just once, I don’t think I will be satisfied till this labyrinth of life is completely sorted.
The lesson to take from this?? Well, always carry your slicker to the maze, ofcourse! You will be happier that way!